Unemployed Prince Harry, Meghan Markle Announce Plans To Give Baby Up For Adoption

LONDON—Stunning fans of the royal family across the world with their decision to break from age-old traditions of monarchical lineage, unemployed couple Prince Harry and Meghan Markle announced Friday that they plan to give up their soon-to-be-born baby for adoption. “It was a hard choice to make, but with both of us continually out of work, it felt like the right thing to do,” said the Duke and Duchess of Sussex in a joint statement released by Buckingham Palace, explaining that ever since Harry was discharged from the army and Markle’s acting career began to languish, the pair has been forced to rely primarily upon public assistance. “We’ve already stretched Harry’s military pension and Meghan’s residuals from Suits as far as they can go. And while we thought at first Harry’s grandmother might be able to look after the baby, the truth is she’s getting very old. Ultimately, we took a look at the life we’re living right now and realized that no child deserves to be brought up in circumstances like this.” The couple went on to add that they might still choose to raise children someday, noting that they are on a public-housing wait list for a castle of their own.

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